Soldier's Side
by Icarus Defiled
Summary: An AU ending to FMA that breaks from the stroy line before Meas Hughes dies.


_Dead men lying on the bottom of the grave_

While Roy was in boot camp the Ishbal war started. The First time he saw soldiers marching to war he thought of them only as grave stones waiting to be cut. He didn't change his mind when it was his turn, he just prayed to whoever looked after fools that he would return. He didn't cry when his regent died, just thanked whatever god listens to the damned that he had been saved. When he finally got home he was sorry he had wasted his breath praying.

_Wondering when Savior comes  
Is he gonna be saved_

Despite all that he had witnessed he didn't cry until he was ordered to execute the Rockbell's. They weren't soldiers, or alchemists, they were doctors who did what the could to up hold their oath. When he stood before them, the father held a picture of a smiling little blond girl, as if he was killing them all with this one act.

_Maybe you're a sinner into your alternate life  
Maybe you're a joker maybe you deserve to die_

When Maes died Roy cried; when Breda followed that winter it hurt a little less and each time it got a little easier to put them under, to do what it took to win this war. When Gracia and Alicia followed Maes, victims of a suicide bombing, he stood over their graves dry eyed while everyone wept around him. It wasn't till later, wrapped in his lovers arms, that he allowed himself to fall apart.

_They were crying when their sons left  
God is wearing black  
He's gone so far to find no hope  
He's never coming back_

The mothers were the hardest to deal with, when Fury died his mother damn near broke him. Riza saved him from doing what he couldn't in Ishbal, and he's never quite forgiven her. Edward never cried; not at the funeral and not later, when he destroyed the apartment he and Fury were living in and left to the front lines. When he came back three months latter it was covered in arrays, the head of the sewing life alchemist in his hands. He left it at Fury's grave and left for the front again. He had been seventeen when the war the started, one year away from being free of his contract, at twenty-two very little remained of the young man who first bore the title _Fullmetal Alchemist_, Cain's death took what was left of Edward Elric.

_They were crying when their sons left  
All young men must go_

Armstrong was the next to go; Roy didn't make it to that funeral either, those left understood why. It was the same for Havoc as well, but for different reasons. Armstrong was a friend, Jean was everything to him. Riza found him in their bed, holding Jean's uniform. Nothing she could say would get him to move, it was Edward who finally dragged Roy out of himself, and he will never tell anyone what was said that day.

_He's come so far to find the truth  
He's never going home_

Then Al, sweet, gentle Al was the next to go. A year after he regained his body and only a week after his marriage to Winry Rockbell Envy killed him. He never got to see his daughter be born, or even know that she existed. Al's death broke Winry's heart, she died, nine months later in labor. It was another generation of Rockbells he left without parents. Ed didn't show up to his brother's funeral, he went missing for a whole month and when he came back it was with Envy's skull and older eyes, colder eyes. He was never the same. There had been something left of the human Edward that had been kept locked inside, Al's death broke that open, left a bleeding wound, hastily covered be a cold fury. Winry's death was the catalyst needed to see the festering wound his humanity had become rot and die, taking with it the _People's Alchemist_.

_Young men standing on the top of their own graves  
Wondering when Jesus comes  
Are they gonna be saved_

Falman died in combat, and was buried in a mass grave, to be forgotten by all but those who outlived him. By all but Roy and Ed. A monument was raised after the war to commemorate the unknown soldiers who died. It was made be an Alchemist named Analisa Elric, constructed from obsidian with the words "_Reverence the dead who's mourners to shall soon be dead_" etched into it. Roy thinks it is a fighting tribute, even if he can't bring himself to tell her.

_Cruelty to the winner, Bishop tells the King his lies  
Maybe you're a mourner, maybe you deserve to die_

When it was found out that Bradley was a Homunculus. Roy went to the funeral just to spit on the grave. He wasn't the only one, even Ed showed up. It was the first time Roy had seen Edward smile in a long time, it terrified him; that cruel, vicious twist of his lips below empty eyes that seemed to absorb everything and mirror the horror of it back. King Bradley had caused more death and destruction than any war in history, and the monster got to die easily. It was accidental really, no one could have know that his skull was in the safe when they decided to blow it up.

_They were crying when their sons left  
God is wearing black_

He thought he hit bottom when Riza died in his arms, he was wrong; what was left of her family was at the funeral. Aramina Hawkeye walked up to him and punched him in the face. The woman he had thought of as a mother since his own had passed away so long ago looked down at him and told him that it was his fault, that he had pushed it this far. He knew it was his fault her daughter died, he didn't need for her to remind him. He knew each of his sins, knew all he would have to atone for, and Riza wasn't the worst, not by far.

_He's gone so far to find no hope  
He's never coming back_

When he was younger and he saw the men leaving for the war he always wanted to run after them and tell them to stop, that they didn't have to go to die, his step-father called it weakness, his mother would just sigh and look towards the north, towards home, where Roy's father died fighting another war there. A man with his eyes and dark hair and that sad little smirk that seemed to know everything. His mother would tell him stories of how his father used alchemy to fight for his people. After his mother died Roy joined the military. Now, thirty years later he still wants to run after them and tell them not to go, that they don't have to. But they do, there is no choice for them anymore. Five years ago the draft was initiated, Three years ago they changed the age to fifteen, and this year they started drafting women. Next year they will place a mandatory birth requirement of two children of each gender before citizenship could be granted.

_They were crying when their sons left  
All young men must go_

It has gotten easier to go to the funerals. These are no longer men he grew up with, but children raised by the military to die for the military. There are no weeping mothers or silent, grim faced fathers, just more children waiting to be sent to war. Looking on with empty faces that nevertheless seem to scream at him: "_This is what you have done to us! This is what you have created!_" They look at him through their apathetic eyes, excepting everything they are told and everything they see and a old poem floats out to him from somewhere in his memory something learned in a class long forgotten with students long in their graves; "_Hoarse, booming drums of the regiment, little souls who thirst for fight, these men were born to drill and die. The unexplained glory flies above them , great is the battle god, great, and his kingdom a field where a thousand corpses lie._"

_He's come so far to find no truth  
He's never going home_

Edward died last; no, the _Demon Alchemist_ died last. Edward Elric died with his brother twelve years ago. He did not die in battle, as one would have thought the _People's Hero_ would have, should have. He died in a hospital room: his organs had fused together, the price for his brothers revenge. He lived for twelve years without a functioning organ system. He fought the whole time, earning the name _Demon Alchemist, _way his eys glinted in the sparks from his alchemy, the only part of him that could be seen past the blood, it wasn't until his heart stopped working that he allowed himself to hospitalized. Roy should have know better than to think the _Demon Alchemist_ had given up; he used his death and the deaths of everyone at the hospital, some seven thousand, as the catalyst to form a new philosophers stone.

_Welcome to the Soldier Side  
Where there's no one here but me  
People all grow up to die  
There is no one here but me._

Roy wants to die but he can't bring himself to. At eighty-nine, his life is his penance for what he has done. It is his penance for living. He goes every day to put flowers on their graves. Going in order, from the first death to the last. Except for Jean, he still can't bring himself to visit Jean's grave. General Ross told him that Analisa Elric puts flowers on it for him. The _Organic Alchemist_, she takes after her father. She is enough Edwards niece that she has advanced far enough into the ranks that soon there will be a female fuhrer, the first in history, and Roy hopes the change will herald in a time of peace.

_Welcome to the Solder Side  
Where there's no one here but me_

The doctors don't know why Roy has not died yet, only that it is a miracle. Their glorious Fuhrer that led them out of the war will lead them into a new age. At one hundred and eighty-four Roy knows why he has not died. A parting gift from the _Demon Alchemist_. Immortality, or something close to it. Eternity to repent his mistakes. Roy watched the children who grew up during this war as they have children who knew nothing of war, or pain, or death. Knew nothing of true hunger, true sorrow. The staples their parents grew up with and made sure the wold never know. Died to make sure. It is the children of this war that will see his people into the future. And theirs that will take them farther. He must simply watch over them and make sure they have a future to go into.

_People on the soldier's side  
There is no one here but me_


End file.
